More About Step Seven of the Twelve Steps of Recovery

Continuing discussion of Step Seven of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.", here is what the AA Big Book says about asking for removal of our shortcomings:

"...we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand? If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all, everyone? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. When ready, we say something like this: 'My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.' We have then completed Step Seven."

In my experience with this Step, the defects are rarely all removed at once, rarely forever, and rarely completely. As with most of recovery, working of Steps Six and Seven is a process in which we make progress over time. I can say that over time, comparing the way I am now with the way I was in early recovery, my Higher Power has removed many of my defects almost completely. Recovery is hard work, with daily application of spiritual principles, but it DOES work. See my web site: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com

More on Step Seven of the 12 Steps of Recovery

Continuing discussion of Step Seven of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.", here is what AA's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions says about humility:

"...the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all......For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power impossible...As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing."

Some may find this language difficult to accept because we are all taught that self-reliance is a sterling attribute. The point here is this: the addict and alcoholic, according to the Twelve Step approach, which I agree with, must come to understand at a gut level that left to his/her own efforts and will, he/she cannot control use of drugs or alcohol, i.e., that he/she is powerless. Once having internalized this uderstanding the person is in a position to seek spiritual help to abstain from use and begin the recovery journey. Humility does NOT mean a lack of self-reliance and will power and strength, but an acknowledgement of the need for spiritual strength to access that self-reliance and will power and strength.

Step Seven of the Twelve Steps of Recovery

Let's begin discussion of Step Seven of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." What does humility mean? Let's start with what humility does NOT mean. Sometimes people confuse humility with "humiliation" and then focus on all the degrading, shaming situations drug and alcohol use have caused them. Humiliation or pain from drug and alcohol use can certainly motivate a person to be humble enough to ask for help, but being humble means more that that. Here is what the NA Basic Text says: "Having decided we want God, as we understand Him, to relieve us of the useless or destructive aspects of our personalities, we have arrived at the Seventh Step. We couldn't handle the ordeal of life all by ourselves. It wasn't until we made a real mess of our lives that we realized we couldn't do it alone. By admitting this, we achieved a glimpse of humility. This is the main ingredient of Step Seven. Humility has a lot to do with getting honest with ourselves, which is something we have practiced from Step One. We accepted our addiction and powerlessness. We found a strength beyond ourselves and learned to rely on it. We examined our lives and discovered who we really are. To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be who we are. None of us are [sic] perfectly good or perfectly bad. We are people who have assets and liabilities and most important of all, we are human."
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More about Step Six of Twelve Steps of Recovery

Continuing our discussion of Step Six of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.", can anyone in recovery become entirely ready to have his/her Higher Power remove all of the defects of character identified in Steps Four and Five? As is said in AA's Big Book, the goal is progress, not perfection. The only Step that a recovering person expects perfection in working is Step One; without abstinence from drugs or alcohol, an addict or alcoholic will not have the strength that comes from a relationship with a Higher Power, or the mental clarity, needed to work the rest of the Steps, including Step Six.

Where does the motivation come from to be willing to do Steps Four, Five, and Six, that is, to look honestly at our defects and seek to have them removed or at least reduced in strength? The answer is three-fold: 1) the motivation to change almost always stems from the pain of acting in ways that cause our lives to continue to be unmanageable even though we are not using alcohol or other drugs; 2) the motivation can stem from witnessing the spiritual strength of others in recovery who clearly now live balanced lives, but in the past had the same behavioral problems and negative personality traits that we have; 3) the motivation and strength to change can come from use of daily prayer and meditation focusing on areas in ourselves that need to be changed and asking for help.

See my site:http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com