Step 6 of the Twelve steps of Recovery

Let's begin discussion of Step Six of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." As with other Steps, willingness is a basic ingredient in doing this Step. See the following excerpts from the NA Basic Text: "Why ask for something that we are not ready for? This would be asking for trouble. So many times we addicts have sought the rewards of hard work without the labor. Willingness is what we strive for in Step Six. How sincerely we work this step will be proportionate to our desire for change...We examine the Fourth Step inventory and get a good look at what these defects are doing to our lives. We begin to long for freedom from these defects. We pray or otherwise become willing, ready and able to let God remove these destructive traits. We need a personality change if we are to stay clean. We want to change...When we are working Step Six, it is important to remember that we are human and should not place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. This is a step of willingness. That is the spiritual principle of Step Six."

Continuing our discussion of Step Six of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.", can anyone in recovery become entirely ready to have his/her Higher Power remove all of the defects of character identified in Steps Four and Five? As is said in AA's Big Book, the goal is progress, not perfection. The only Step that a recovering person expects perfection in working is Step One; without abstinence from drugs or alcohol, an addict or alcoholic will not have the strength that comes from a relationship with a Higher Power, or the mental clarity, needed to work the rest of the Steps, including Step Six.

Continuing our discussion of Step Six of the Twelve Steps of recovery: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.", where does the motivation come from to be willing to do Steps Four, Five, and Six, that is, to look honestly at our defects and seek to have them removed or at least reduced in strength? The answer is three-fold: 1) the motivation to change almost always stems from the pain of acting in ways that cause our lives to continue to be unmanageable even though we are not using alcohol or other drugs; 2) the motivation can stem from witnessing the spiritual strength of others in recovery who clearly now live balanced lives, but in the past had the same behavioral problems and negative personality traits that we have; 3) the motivation and strength to change can come from use of daily prayer and meditation focusing on areas in ourselves that need to be changed and asking for help.

Step Five of the Twelve Steps of Recovery

Let's begin looking at Step Five of the Twelve Steps: "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Here is some of what AA's Big Book says about Step Five:

"Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak times in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery...This is perhaps difficult, especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further.

We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk."

Humility is a key concept in recovery, one that is an inherent part of many of the Twelve Steps of recovery, including Step Five. For more discussion of Step Five, see my site: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com, and the Addiction Recovery Tip for the Day.